Another one is here... Hoorayy...
yea.
I spent most of the day sitting in the dark back room of my lab at work taking electrical resistivity measurements on flat pieces of astroquartz listening to the squeeky drone of the overhead chemical hood fans while shivering in the environmentally controlled 68 degree F and 12% relative humidity.
At least I'm employed.
Well besides that I've been lamenting my defeat at the hands of a most likely better looking, more successful, funnier, taller, skinnier, cooler, sexier, and larger penised male.
The wild animal referenced below, whom I thought I'd been dating for a few months apparently was dating someone else the entire time. gross.
It supposedly took her this long to decide which one of us she preferred.
With me of course ending up on the short end of the stick. Whats new?
I feel like its these experiences which have pushed me into the emotional black hole most women accuse me of residing in.
Everytime I go out on a limb and decided I may have feelings worth commiting to, the same shit seems to rain down.
Or perhaps I always see it coming and open up knowing that I'm safe cause it'll never come to fruition.... hmmm.
But yes, of course I saw it coming!
In three months, I never met any of her friends, never saw where she lived, was refused facebook friendship, never really went out unless it was local to my area even though she lived in west hollywood.
Obvious signs of being the "the other guy", the second fiddle, the opposite of her bottom bitch.
Even after she finally admitted it she wanted to stay friends. cause she really 'cared' about me and thought i was 'awesome' and that our timing was simply off. riiiight.
so what, if we met at a different time after you already found out this other guy is a douche, then you'd choose me? Yikes.
Worst excuse ever.
Well instead of dragging myself through the same mud over and over if we were to attempt friendship I simply cut it off. clean and simple. I don't need to deal with bullshit nor do I deserve it. I don't need to stay in constant limbo, never trusting someone I consider myself close to.
She can go fuck herself.
And the other dude who's timing was I guess exactly on. Well I'm sure she's already got that taken care of.
I was surprised at myself for staying so calm through that final conversation. I think because I knew eventually she'd regret whatever choice she made. and that made me feel warm and fuzzy. a bad thing?
Besides, I can use the extra time to take more pictures of hot chicks on bicycles...
but anyhow we've decided to cut all contact since she's so tempted to talk to me all the time. I told her to concentrate on doing this other guy and let me be.
No more AIM, BBM, phone, etc etc. deletion from memory, but hopefully not me from hers. Everlasting torment is probably wishful thinking, but a guy can hope hah.
My mom and sister are here visiting for the weekend... An invading army in my apartment, with giant duffle bags full of clutter as weapons. I've pushed the inner clean freak deep within, though I have a feeling he may emerge quite soon and wreak havoc in the next 4 days.
i have no idea what to be for halloween. need something new I think, something symbolic of my new found oldness. Mr. Rogers? too creepy. I think i want something to hide in. A big box. A camera. and I'll 'flash' people. Maybe I'll just wear a full body spandex suit and call it a night.
I threw myself a birthday party sorta. well tomorrow. a movie. 5th grade style, cept with booze instead of a batman cake. and Where the Wild Things Are instead of the Mighty Ducks.
Yea pretty lame, but I think the age of people surprising you or throwing big parties has come and gone. or just gone. too much hoopla for something that should be simple. A day to say hi to everyone you enjoy. or at least the ones in close proximity.
I always wanted a girlfriend on halloween. Dress up in ridiculous costumes. get all drunky and have hot costumey make out sessions. Its fun to escape reality every now and again.
Ehh, I'll give it another go next year I suppose.
